This sucks.
I feel stuck, like we are moving backwards.
It seems like we’re going back to last March, but this time, surrounded by more worry and fear.
It feels heavy. Sad. Dark.
On top of that, it’s winter. It’s cold and dreary. Darkness comes so early now.
I’m tired of forgetting my mask and having to wear it all day while trying to teach.
I’m tired of schedule changes. I want consistency.
For so long, I enjoyed the stillness of being at home. I was so thankful for the change it brought to my life.
It helped me re-focus and re-orient my priorities, but now it just feels like we are back to square one.
It feels lonely. It feels dark. It honestly sometimes feels hopeless.
Sometimes I get tired of looking for the bright side. Reminding myself that “this too will end” and “it’s only a season” only helps for a while.
I’m listening to worship music, writing these thoughts down in my journal when suddenly I hear just the reminder I need…to lay it all down.
And at the feet of Jesus, I fall.
For a minute, I thought, I am so overwhelmed. I am sad. I am frustrated. I am tired.
And He said, lay it down.
Come to me. Talk to me. I want to hear.
Are you struggling? Come tell me about it.
Are you tired? Frustrated? Bring it to me.
Nothing you have to say is a surprise to me.
Lay it ALL down & lift your hands UP.
Lay It All Down Lyrics, By Will Reagan & United Pursuit:
Bring your worry, grief, and pain
Every cause you have for shame
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
When your cares have buried you
And there’s nothing left to do
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
At the feet of Jesus
At the feet of Jesus
Carried on but your heart was tired
Feared the worst and felt the fire
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
Filled with all those anxious thoughts
And your doubts became your God
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
At the feet of Jesus
At the feet of Jesus
Lay it all down, lay it all down
Lay it all down, lay it all down
Lay it all down, lay it all down
Lay it all down, lay it all down
Lay it all down, lay it all down
Lay it all down, lay it all down
At the feet of Jesus
At the feet of Jesus
When we’ve given up on better days
There are memories we can’t erase
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
When we’ve come to fear what we can’t explain
And there’s nothing here that can ease the pain
Lay it all down
Lay it all down
At the feet of Jesus
Don’t carry today what He wants to carry for you. Bring it to Him. Lay all your worries at His feet.
In the Stillness 